Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What a Night

Over the past few months i've been noticing a pattern.  On the occasions that I write about my "interesting" nights out and about, the hits on my site increase by a ton.  I'm talking like triple my normal views.  I have made a decision.  I'm going to embrace it!  Instead of holding back, i'm going to let it rip from now on.  Sorry Mom.  Sorry friends that don't enjoy it.  Here we go I guess!


I have a special talent.  It's not a good thing.  I wish I could wash this talent off like a bad night at work some times, but I just can't escape the stink.  You're wondering what it is right?  You're thinking that this guy can't have much talent.  Maybe I shouldn't have called it a talent because it was something I was born with.  I attract the most crazy people everywhere I go!  I don't know where they come from, but every time I go out they are always there.  A few nights ago I had some random "overweight" bar fly buzzing all over me.  At one point she even started dancing on my leg. (i'm shaking my head from shame right now)  I turned to her and asked her very politely, "could you please stop doing that, you're spare tire is preventing me from signing my tab."  Needless to say, she wasn't very impressed by my thoughts.  Why me?


This leads us to last night.  After a "big" night of watching the history channel, Burt and I decided to headed down to Mezo's for karaoke to see what was happening.  It was still early at 11.  Early enough that they hadn't even started yet.  We started out doing our typical, "scan the bar for anything willing to talk to us" act.  Burt is surprisingly good at this.  I think it's just his lack of shame, but he will talk to anyone and anything.  He ditched me at one point to talk to some girl that he used to work with, so when he returned I informed him that he was no longer worthy of the shot I had just bought for him and I was going to give it to the next girl that came up to the bar.  


The lucky girl was C. (abbreviations will be used for anyone that I don't know well enough to know that they won't care that I use their name.  Respect right?)  She received said shot just for walking up.  Lucky her right?  Not so much.  It was called an Alabama Slammer.  I got them on a rec and it just didn't work out for me.  I actually really embarrassed myself by almost choking to death on it.  (and after reading the recipe I realize that it wasn't that at all!  It was made with crown... just borrowed the name I guess.)  Anyways we talked for a bit, had another shot and went on.  The thing that she left me with though was a song stuck in my head!  She sang Dramarama's Anything Anything for her turn at the karaoke mic.  She explained that is was out of one of the Freddie Kruger movies and i've been singing it ever since.  Thanks C. 


I was outside a little later, talking to R, when CrazyMama showed up.  I guess we just looked like a couple of understanding sets of ears that wouldn't run her off.  Trust me, we tried.  This is where my "talent" that I talked about earlier comes in.  I don't know where she came from, but for some reason she picked me out to talk with. Where do these people come from!?  How did I end up so lucky that they feel a need to talk my ear off?  I call her CrazyMama for a reason as well.  She was non-stop talking about he craziest things you can imagine.  Her husband used to beat her senseless, but she was too "secure" to leave.  She had and overwhelming hate of social media.  I don't know what the deal with that was, but she REALLY hated it. She didn't allow her kids to use Facebook.  That kind of hate.  Then she REALLY hated me for professing my love for social media.  I can't help it!  That was all I started talking about at a certain point, and thank you R for chiming right in!  We just couldn't shake CrazyMama, so I decided I needed a picture.  This is what came out.  I eventually just had to walk away in mid conversation to get out of this situation.  



Thank you R for the mad photo skills.  And thank you R and C for making the night a little more tolerable.  Life really is crazy sometimes.  

Until Next Time,
Kyle

And next time is the Mardi Gras story from today!  Excited right?

1 comment:

Samantha said...

This story made my Wednesday morning.

I too have a talent - it's called awkward moments happen every day in almost every situation!

Looking forward to the mardi gras story.