Time: Friday night
Place: My apartment
Who: Me and Perry
Why: Because we can!
It started out at my apartment. We were sitting around watching the race and having a few drinks. We got this brilliant idea. "Hey, let's text Burton and see what he's doing." Said text happens. Entrepreneur Burt is on his way to, our favorite place, Mezo's to pick up the recycling. ( I ALWAYS link Mezo's. It is the best place on the coast after all) That's all I needed to hear. I text him back, "we will meet you there," and we were off.
Time: 2 minutes later (yeah I live that close)
Who: Me, Perry, and now Burt
Why: Why not?
This seems to be the way that all of my stories start out. We were hanging out down at Mezo's.... etc... I'm going to explain to you why this post is named what it is. A few days ago in my What a Night post, I explained a talent that I had. I guess it wasn't really a talent, more like an unfortunate gift. I always seem to attract strange/crazy people to our group. I'm starting to realize it happens every time we go out. Well, it happened again. We were just sitting there, minding out own business, when XanaxLady shows up. Why is she called XanaxLady? My inside source told me that it was the reason she couldn't string a group of words into a sentence. Her speech was SO slurred that the nurse inside of me was worried that she was having a stroke! XanaxLady just would not go away either! She would amble from one side of the group to the next just talking to the air. Burton made the mistake of talking to her for a minute, so she was destined to hang around for the rest of the night.
I've noticed that i've started to see everything as a potential new post. From the moment I met XanaxLady, I knew she was it. I immediately started trying to formulate a plan to photograph the evidence. Burton was unwilling to take a photo with her, and she was a little more unwilling than CrazyLady, but I still managed to get one for you.
Burt gave me permission to use his face!
He also gave me permission for something
else, but you will learn about that in a bit.
When I realized XanaxLady just wasn't going to leave, I threw my hands in the air and started yelling WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! For some reason everyone thought this was hilarious. I guess they knew exactly why I was doing it. Eventually she decided it was time to go home, so she headed out the front door. The story just doesn't end there. We decided that we needed to watch. She stumbled around the parking lot looking for her car. She could barely stand up and, in her head, she felt like she could drive! Eventually she found her car and started backing out. Burt took off running out the front door when he saw this. We watched as he opened her door and stopped her. He talked to her for a bit and tried to convince her to let him drive her home. I thought he was just going to reach in a jerk the keys out of the ignition, but that just never happened. Later he explained that he just didn't think of that. Eventually she slammed the door shut and spun her tires as she was leaving the parking lot. I sure hope she made it home and didn't hit anyone. Thankfully that was the last we saw of XanaxLady.
Now for the pudding... Shots meaning. Mezo makes her own unique blend of shots. They are actually pudding shots. Well, the official name is Boozy Pudding Shots. Last nights flavor was the best one yet. It was cookies and cream! It even had actual cookies crumbled into it. If I didn't know better, I could have eaten an entire bowl of that stuff. I had to keep telling Perry that he didn't need anymore. I was trying to avoid the inevitable puke. These things will sneak up on you and I already know that so I was trying to be the "good" friend. From the text I got from him, this morning, I gather that we still didn't avoid the puke. Though my efforts were valiant, the outcome just wasn't what we hoped for. Sorry Bud.
Cookies and Cream pudding shots!
Now for the continuation of the Burton story. At one point I told him that I was going to to put up a link to his Facebook, phone #, email address, and every other means to contact him. He told me to do it! It may have been the alcohol speaking just a little bit, but if you would like to know Burton you can find him on Facebook! Don't think I won't publish you! Go and blow up his page with requests!
This is Burton dancing to his favorite song, Mambo
# 5, last night.
Something else happened related to dancing. Someone played the safety dance of the jukebox. I couldn't believe the volume of people that had NO idea what it was! Do you people live under a rock or what!?
Here it is if you also have no idea what i'm talking about.
The night went on without too much issue. Other than the fact that the Jim Beam rep had dropped off a bunch of sample bottles of their new products. Long story short, Mezo was giving out drinks made with these for free. I had....... well..... a couple. I'm a sucker for free drinks! Needless to say, I got a little on the non-lucid side. Towards the end of the night I realized I was there alone. I had no idea where my friends went. I later (today) found out that Burt had straight up left us there and Perry was passed out puking in his truck. Awesome. Being a VIP gives you privileges though. One of the bartenders, Robbie, gave me a ride home. Thanks!
What a night. WHAT A NIGHT.
Until next time,
Battling the aftermath headache,